With each passing year, my decision to quit drinking becomes more solidified. 

If you asked me in my twenties if I’d quit drinking, I’d laugh and say, “yeah right—maybe a month (tops).” 

But as I got older, things changed…my hangovers and hangxiety became exponentially worse, and I stopped enjoying simple pleasures in life like a walk by the water or tea with friends. 

My entire world revolved around alcohol.

There reached a point where I knew I needed to stop drinking, but struggled with the how. Every time I quit, instead of enjoying life sober, I’d count down the days until alcohol and I were once again reunited. It felt like a perpetual battle of willpower, where I was depriving myself, convinced that I was missing out on an essential joy in life.

Back then, most of my friends drank, and while times have changed, being sober at social gatherings led to intrusive questions. Some friends even stopped inviting me to things because I was now considered ‘boring’.

I always felt like alcohol was holding me back, but it wasn’t until I got sober that I realized the true extent of it. My health, finances, relationships, fitness, and work, all suffered because of my drinking habit. For all the supposed “fun” alcohol promised, all it gave me in return were blurry experiences, shame, loss of control, and the aftermath of feeling like a bag of crap. 

The biggest shift that made me quit for good was the realization that I’m not missing out on anything. In fact, alcohol made everything worse. Once I let go of the belief that drinking enriched my life, I was able to truly enjoy the many experiences life had to offer.

I could wake up feeling energetic and do things that made me feel good—for real, I made a new group of friends out west, who’ve only known me as sober and are fully supportive. My emotional regulation improved, and most importantly, I gained confidence by standing strong with my decision to stay sober.

Choosing not to drink is no longer accompanied by feelings of deprivation. It’s just my normal now. After 4 years, I still stand by the fact that quitting drinking was the best decision of my life.